Cue the “Jaws” theme song.
My girls are super stars at the Dentist. My sister needs a tranquilizer for her visits, mom seemed to oddly enjoy the torture and dad could care less, it is basic oral health for him.
Myself, I was in and out of the Orthodontist through out childhood. Our parents made sure our teeth were always healthy. I would excitedly sneak “junk,” when visiting a friend’s home due to the lack of sugary snacks under our roof.
I never had an issue with the Dentist, until I did. My issue was not with the Dentist, the cleaning process or potential issues.
My issue was me.
I had an eating disorder.
This life sucking disease took hold of me my senior year of high school, I allowed myself to stay in it’s clutch, on and off for 15 years.
Yeah. 15. FUCKING. YEARS.
Potential origins that have surfaced through therapy sessions will be covered in a later post. Grab the popcorn.
The eating disorder I chose was Bulimia. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bulimia/symptoms-causes/syc-20353615
Want to take a guess at what repetitive vomiting over the course of 15 years does to your teeth? Acid wears your teeth down. Irony in the form of a demon.
A normal looking gal with a dark secret. Sounds like a tagline to a murder mystery thriller.
Bulimia is a tragic disease, like alcoholism. As my wise Father would say, “It is that 800 pound Gorilla that sits at the front of the line, every time.”
in 2017, through the help of innate self control that had been absent and the realization that I was now in charge of another soul surviving, I was able beat that Gorilla to a pulp. Slit it’s throat. Then burn it. Leaving nothing, not even ashes; those blew away in the West Texas Wind. Why not just bury it? Because, I could dig that up.
What a FREE FEELING. To have something so sinister let go of it’s claws around your soul.
I can live. I can love myself again. and I do.
In December of 2024, I finally made a decision to fix my teeth.
The reason it took me to long to take care of the canines? Your psyche get affected when you tiptoe over shards of glass for so long. We can jump into that hole at a future point.
However, I was finally ok to look someone in the face and tell them my teeth were a mess.
I was ok to tell them WHY.
I was ok to break down and helplessly cry in the dentist office.
The wall of shame that was so high, hard and humiliating could finally crumble down into the rubble, where it stays.
I am forever grateful for the love, compassion and empathy that Colleen and her staff showed me. The vivacity I have for my Dentist is undeniable. They will ALWAYS hold a special spot in my heart that no one else will touch. They will hold that spot because they helped heal it.
Cue the “Rocky” theme song.
J's Place 